


familiarity with the concept

by MermaidMarie



Series: not temporary to me [2]
Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Oblivious Hasegawa Langa, Pining, a bit of hurt/comfort for fun, fake relationship briefly, really mostly just pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29937210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MermaidMarie/pseuds/MermaidMarie
Summary: Being into Langa was simultaneously super easy and super frustrating. On the one hand, apparently, there was absolutely no chance that Langa would ever notice. On the other hand,there was absolutely no chance that Langa would ever notice.In most circumstances where Reki liked someone, he fluctuated between being absolutely horrified they’d find out and desperately wanting to tell them.Somehow, not at all an issue with Langa, because it absolutely did not matter what Reki did or said. Like, not even a little. Langa did not take hints.-In which Reki attempts to ask out the cute new guy and instead ends up falling in love with his best friend.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Series: not temporary to me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201661
Comments: 24
Kudos: 562
Collections: Sk8 fics!!!





	familiarity with the concept

**Author's Note:**

> I thought that maybe it was a little self indulgent to write this, but then I realized that I'm just allowed to be self indulgent. Like, who's gonna stop me? What else is fanfiction for?  
> Anyway, this is Reki's side of "definitely a level-headed reaction."  
> I've decided that the reason that S is more chill here is because Adam just, like, doesn't exist, and I don't need to explain that further.

If Reki were being totally honest, it started the moment they spoke.

If he were being a little more lenient with himself, letting himself cling to _some_ denial, he _could_ say it started when he watched Langa win that first race against Shadow, like he was flying, like gravity released its hold on him—Reki was breathlessly awed by him in that moment. He could say that was what really made it clear that he was hopeless, that was the point of no return.

But the real truth of it was that watching Langa fall off Reki’s skateboard after standing on it for a grand total of three seconds was already enough.

The sour look Langa had shot up at him from the ground when Reki couldn’t help but laugh sealed it—the new guy was _cute,_ and Reki already liked him. So he tried his best to impress him—hey, might as well, right? There was nothing solid to say he _didn’t_ have a chance.

And the wide-eyed stare Langa had given him after he pulled that trick made him feel, for a moment, like he really did have a shot. He felt that little glow of hope, familiar before a failure or rejection.

“I work at the skate shop over there part time,” Reki started, letting himself feel excited. “I could pick out a beginner board for you if you wanna practice. Might be fun.”

And, sure, it was _meant_ to sound casual. Reki wasn’t trying to come on too strong or anything. He was just trying to see what could happen.

But—

“What’s the pay?” Langa said, the wide-eyed glow totally dropped in favor of stoic determination.

It was so jarring that Reki could barely tell who had misread the tone of the conversation. Like, had he been that unclear? Or had he been that off-base? He could’ve _sworn_ they were having a different interaction, and he had no idea what went wrong.

Without knowing Langa, he had nothing to go off of.

Well, call that _strike one_ as far as trying to get anywhere with the new guy, right? Reki couldn’t tell if it was worth trying again. It really seemed like he might just not have any chance. Which, cool, whatever, it was totally fine. Not like Reki had gotten his hopes up—they’d just had a moment, that was all.

But then, after all _that_ craziness, Langa did end up wanting to learn how to skate. So there was that opening again—a glimmer of a chance at _something._

And, honestly, offering to teach him to skate hadn’t _just_ been an opening to flirt.

That was actually the first miscommunication that had happened with Reki and his ex—the guy thought it was just Reki’s _move_ or something. Which wasn’t a totally unfair assumption. It’s not like he was completely off base there—teaching someone how to skateboard always had some pretty obvious opportunities to offer your hand, or touch their waist, or bandage a scrape. The potential was all there.

But Reki _did_ actually want to teach someone to skate—it wasn’t just an excuse. Reki loved skating alone—skating with someone else was better.

Really, the flirting was a secondary perk for Reki. Meanwhile, his ex had never actually been all that interested in skating, he was just interested in Reki.

Flattering, but also, like, low-key disappointing. It sort of made the whole thing a little less fun, in the end.

On the other hand, Langa had the complete opposite issue.

Reki had no idea how he could’ve made the flirting any more obvious, there at the beginning. Offering to help Langa pick out a board, offering to hold his hand, never letting Langa put the bandages on his scrapes himself.

It seemed pretty freaking blatant, actually.

_“You can hold my hand if you’re scared.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

Right.

Reki had to assume that the only explanations were either that Langa was just pretending like he didn’t notice so he didn’t have to reject Reki outright, or that Langa was straight enough to forget guys _could_ flirt with him, or that Langa was, somehow, actually that level of oblivious.

Reki could play the times he’d missed the mark as a whole montage in his head. And he frequently did, when he couldn’t sleep. Just a series of failed attempts, like a compilation video of every time he’d fallen from his board trying a new trick.

Being into Langa was simultaneously super easy and super frustrating. On the one hand, apparently, there was absolutely no chance that Langa would ever notice. On the other hand, _there was absolutely no chance that Langa would ever notice._

In most circumstances where Reki liked someone, he fluctuated between being absolutely horrified they’d find out and desperately wanting to tell them.

Somehow, not at all an issue with Langa, because it absolutely did not matter what Reki did or said. Like, not even a little. Langa did not take hints.

Eventually, he stopped trying so hard.

Reki and Langa were supposed to meet out in front of the school. Reki was running a couple minutes later than usual because he’d managed to trip with his bag open, his notebooks and pencils scattering across the hall.

He was jogging out to the front, ready to head off, but Langa wasn’t alone.

Reki slowed, a little confused, until he realized what was going on.

It was a girl from class, giggling and playing with her hair, leaning in and brushing her fingers against Langa’s arm. She might as well have been holding up a neon sign that said _I’m interested in you._

Reki hesitated for a second, not sure what the protocol here was.

Typically, the code between guy friends was to not interrupt this kind of thing. After all, the girl was pretty, and she seemed nice enough. Reki didn’t know how much the code changed when _you_ had a crush on said guy friend. The rules had to be different then, right?

He checked to see if Langa seemed into the girl at all, but what a surprise—totally unreadable. Langa was staring at her blankly like he was trying to solve a math problem.

Reki stifled a sigh. Maybe it was a little petty and selfish, but to be fair, he _had_ seen Langa first.

“Hey, man!” he greeted brightly.

Langa switched focus from the girl so fast that Reki almost felt bad. She did look a little peeved at being brushed off like that.

“Reki,” Langa greeted with a smile.

That warm smile was more than enough to make Reki forget about feeling bad for the girl.

Langa said cursory goodbye to her before falling in next to Reki, not looking back at all as they headed towards the park. At least it seemed like Reki could rest assured that he probably hadn’t ruined some epic romance for Langa.

As they left earshot of the girl, Reki glanced back once.

“She seemed to like you,” he said, as nonchalant as he could make it.

Langa frowned a little. “I don’t really know. I didn’t even say anything funny.”

Alright, weird response. Reki raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

“Well, she kept laughing. But I barely even said anything.”

Was he serious?

“Are you serious?” Reki asked, toneless.

Langa glanced at him. Looking genuinely confused.

“Yeah, I don’t know what she was laughing about,” he said.

Reki snorted. “She _likes_ you,” he said with emphasis.

“We’d never even talked before,” Langa said. “I didn’t know her name.”

Ouch. Maybe Reki did feel bad for her.

He let out a small laugh. Seriously, someone help anyone who tried to flirt with this guy just because they thought he was cute. He was _not_ going to get it. You’d be better off carrying a literal neon sign, probably— _maybe Reki could consider that option._

On the bright side, it did make Reki feel a little better about all the times Langa had totally missed the vibe he was going for. He wasn’t sure exactly where the limit was for things that Langa would completely fail to interpret as a move, but wherever it was, he hadn’t found it.

“No, dude, I mean she thinks you’re cute,” Reki said flatly. “She was flirting. She _likes_ you, as in, she’s got a crush on you.”

Langa’s brow furrowed. “Why? She doesn’t even know me.”

Reki could actually think of a long list of reasons why someone would have a crush on Langa, given his _immense_ familiarity with that concept, but like hell he was going to share it. He just shrugged.

“I don’t know, why does anyone ever get crushes?” Reki said, gesturing vaguely. “You gonna ask her out?”

“Why would I?”

“Man, I don’t know. She’s pretty and she likes you?”

“So?”

“So…?” Reki shrugged. “So you could just see where things go.”

Reki wasn’t even sure why he was encouraging this. Maybe he was testing it, a little bit, trying to see if Langa ever dated, if it was just Reki he didn’t think about like that.

Langa just shook his head. “I’m not really interested.”

Reki laughed a little.

Totally hopeless.

He wondered if maybe, Langa had a girl back home, either that he was still dating or that he hadn’t gotten over, and maybe that was why he didn’t seem to even consider the possibility here. Reki almost wanted to ask about it, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

If Langa started telling him about some ex or current girlfriend he was in love with, Reki might disintegrate over it. He was probably better off just not asking, and continuing to let himself live in the world where he didn’t have to picture Langa looking at anyone else the way _he_ looked at Langa.

The novelty of being the new kid wore off relatively quickly, especially since the girls seemed to catch on pretty fast that Langa didn’t seem especially interested. After Reki saw that first girl trying to flirt, he didn’t see or hear about anything else like that.

Totally possible that it was still _happening,_ and Langa just either didn’t notice or didn’t find it important enough to mention. Either way, Reki was cool with it. He felt a little guilty about being happy that Langa wasn’t dating, but he didn’t really have control over that.

His crush hadn’t gone anywhere. He’d more or less totally given up trying to flirt, but Langa was still _pretty,_ and Langa was still talented, and the more Reki got to know him, the worse the crush got.

Maybe he’d been too obvious with his pining, because one day in class, right before lunch was starting, a classmate called him on it.

“So, Reki, man, what’s with you and the new kid?” the guy said, in a whisper loud enough that Langa could _definitely_ hear it. “You’re always with him, or staring at him. You guys a thing?”

Reki let out a short, uncomfortable laugh. “Nah, dude, just friends. Don’t be weird.”

Before the conversation could get any further, Reki unceremoniously shoved his things into his bag and dragged Langa out of the room to head to the roof for lunch. Not exactly the best or most subtle way to get away from that conversation—Reki could imagine how that looked. But he was too mortified to really consider whether he made things worse.

“What was that guy saying?” Langa said mildly once they’d gotten to the roof and settled into their usual spot.

Reki had been quiet, avoiding eye contact, hunched over his food. Once again, not subtle. He was hoping Langa was oblivious enough or dense enough to not say anything about it.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Reki muttered, his face heating up.

“He asked if we were… a _thing?”_ Langa said.

Reki winced. “Sorry about that.”

“About what?” Langa asked.

Of course. Langa seemed to have missed it enough to not get what the guy had been saying, but he _hadn’t_ missed it enough to just drop it. Stellar. Reki sighed. 

“He was asking if we were together,” Reki said, looking anywhere but at Langa. “Like, if we were dating.”

“Oh,” was Langa’s only reply before he focused back on his food.

Reki frowned. “What, that doesn’t bother you?”

Langa blinked, his blue eyes wide and puzzled. “Not really? Why would it?”

Oh, there were _so many reasons_ Reki could list.

“I don’t know, could be kind of embarrassing.”

“Why would it be embarrassing?”

And, well, Reki didn’t exactly know how to say _Because people think you’d be willing to be with a guy like me, when you’re so obviously out of my league_ in a way that didn’t sound deeply depressing. He also didn’t know how to say it in a way that didn’t make it totally obvious that he _liked_ Langa.

There was no winning with honesty here.

“Nah, you’re right,” Reki said, putting as much false confidence into his tone as he could and stretching his arms over his head. “You should be flattered they think you could get a catch like me.”

“Oh,” was Langa’s only response _again._

Sometimes, it felt like Reki was going to go crazy wondering about all the things Langa didn’t say.

“I’m _joking,”_ Reki said, shoving Langa’s arm with affection, on the off chance that Langa might’ve actually taken that personally. “I don’t know, man, just thought it might be kinda awkward. Y’know, ’cause we’re just friends, right?”

Reki _must’ve_ been trying to get himself hurt, if he was really ending that like it was a question. Because of course they were friends, and of course Langa didn’t see him that way, and _of course_ Langa was going to agree. Reki didn’t know why he left openings like that if they were just going to sting.

Langa furrowed his brow a little. “We’re friends,” he said slowly. “I don’t think the _just_ is necessary there.”

Reki couldn’t tell if it was worse or better that Langa’s answer was so sweet.

He smiled.

“Right.”

It was entirely possible that being friends with Langa was going to kill him.

Langa was over one night, and they were just watching skating videos together, huddled over Reki’s phone. It was relatively unremarkable, hanging out and checking out clips breaking down harder and harder tricks.

They were on Reki’s bed, leaning against the wall. Reki had been talking through most of the videos, telling Langa about famous skaters or the types of boards they were using, or whether he’d ever seen anyone pull that trick in S before.

After a while, though, Reki’s rambling fizzled out. He could probably talk forever if he let himself, but he had yet to annoy Langa beyond his limits with it, and there was always a point where he felt like he didn’t want to risk it anymore.

And anyway, it was getting late, around the time Langa would usually leave.

Reki expected Langa to notice the time and head home soon, but—

Instead, in the middle of a video, Langa’s head tipped down to Reki’s shoulder.

Reki kept very, _very_ still. He could feel Langa’s hair against his neck.

“Langa?” he said softly.

Langa was breathing steadily. His hands were completely lax. Reki didn’t want to risk shifting to check, but he was _pretty_ confident Langa had just fallen asleep.

On his shoulder.

 _Well_.

Reki let the video keep playing, but he absolutely wasn’t watching it anymore. All of his focus was Langa’s weight against him, the way he could feel Langa’s breath ghosting past his collarbone.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t been close like this before—Reki certainly had a tendency to tackle Langa, accustomed to generous physical affection from growing up with his sisters. Reki had no problem throwing an arm over Langa’s shoulder, or hugging him when he pulled off a trick, or shoving his arm playfully at work when they were trying to stock shelves and distracting each other. None of that ever made Reki feel like his heart was going to beat hard enough to crack his ribs.

This was different.

Maybe it was how rarely Langa initiated this kind of thing, or the fact that he gotten comfortable enough to fall asleep completely like this, or the fact that it just felt like a line Reki wouldn’t have crossed himself.

In any case, Reki couldn’t move. He could hardly breathe. And he just hoped his heartbeat wasn’t loud enough to wake Langa up.

Very carefully, Reki let his phone fall to his lap once the video ended.

He closed his eyes. Focused on his breathing.

This was fine. It was _fine._ He could handle this.

So what if it made his chest ache, to have Langa pressed against him like this? So what it gave his stubborn, ever-optimistic heart something to cling to, like this wasn’t completely hopeless for him? So what he desperately wanted to stroke Langa’s hair back, kiss his forehead, fall asleep with him?

It was fine. He told himself it was fine, so it would be.

Reki hated himself a little bit for how much he just wanted to let himself have this moment, to imagine that maybe things could be different. To imagine that this could mean what he wanted it to mean. That it could mean the same thing to Langa.

Really, if Reki were being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure how much he could dismiss these feelings as a crush anymore.

And at _that_ sufficiently heartbreaking thought, Reki took a breath, moving very carefully out from under Langa’s weight, shifting him gently so he was lying down.

Reki had been trying really hard to not wake Langa up, but looking at him, he was pretty sure his efforts were unnecessary. Langa was absolutely passed out, Reki probably couldn’t have woken him up if he’d been trying.

Reki sighed, pulling the covers over Langa’s shoulders.

He went to get an extra blanket and a bunched up sweatshirt to use as a pillow, and he set himself up on the floor.

This was ridiculous.

He just tried to pretend like his heart didn’t feel like it was twisting into knots, like he didn’t half-want to just leave the room and sleep outside in the garage, like he wasn’t _desperately_ trying not to put words to how he really felt about Langa.

He closed his eyes, hoping he could blink and it would be morning and it would be a little easier to ignore how loud his feelings were in the sunlight.

Hours later, Reki was restless, and kind of cold. He _was_ dozing in and out of sleep, but he was more awake than not, thinking about how, actually, it was kinda unfair that he was sleeping on the floor in his own room.

He turned over, sighing as he tried to pull the thin blanket around himself more.

“Reki?” Langa murmured from the bed, confusion and sleep in his voice. “What are you doing?”

“Go back to sleep, Langa,” Reki whispered back. “It’s three in the morning.”

“You’re on the floor.” Langa yawned, and Reki could see the shape of him leaning up slightly. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Because you passed out on my bed. _Go back to sleep.”_

“That doesn’t seem comfortable.”

“Yeah, well.”

“When did I fall asleep?”

“I don’t know. When we were watching videos. And now you should go _back_ to sleep.”

“But you’re on the floor.”

“Yep.”

“Aren’t you—”

“I’m fine.”

“But it’s your bed.”

“Mm.”

“Just come up here.”

Yeah, that seemed like a great idea, given Reki’s current predicament.

Reki was pretty sure he would rather jump out the window, skateboard off a bridge, and float down the river into the ocean.

“It’s fine.”

He felt Langa’s hand nudge against his arm and he nearly jumped, wishing he’d decided to sleep on the other side of the room, out of Langa’s reach.

“I’ll switch with you,” Langa said, his voice more alert. 

Reki sighed. Langa wasn’t just going to go back to sleep and forget about it.

“Then _you’ll_ be on the floor,” Reki replied.

“Well, it’s _fine,_ isn’t it?” Langa said, pointedly.

How was Langa not too tired for this? Probably because he’d gotten the bed. Yeah, that wasn’t fair, maybe Reki would be able to argue better if he hadn’t been tossing and turning on the floor for hours.

“It’s not a big deal, Langa.”

“Then just come up here.”

Reki briefly considered murdering him, but that might’ve been an overreaction from how tired he was.

 _“God._ Fine.” Reki groaned, pulling himself up. Langa shifted over to make room for him, and Reki stayed as close to the edge of the bed as he could as he slipped under the covers. “Just… don’t make it weird.”

“Why would it be weird?” Langa replied with a tired sigh.

_Because I’m in love with you and this is my hell._

The second Reki had the thought, he tensed. He’d been trying _really hard_ to not put _those_ words to the feeling. And now he couldn’t hide behind his own denial, lying to himself, because that was the truth. He couldn’t take it back.

“Never mind. Just go back to sleep.”

“Alright.”

Reki was certain he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. He was _certain_ that he’d be too tense, too afraid, that he’d lie there all night, intensely still and trying to regulate his own breathing. After all, there he was, finally admitting to himself the depths of his feelings, trapped in darkness and silence next to _his best friend, who he was in love with._

He couldn’t imagine how he’d be able to fall asleep after that.

But the mattress was so much softer than the floor, and he was close enough to Langa to feel his warmth and the steadiness of his breathing as he drifted back to sleep. And somehow, the comfort of that outweighed Reki’s own panic, and he fell asleep before he even noticed he’d managed to relax.

The panic came back the next morning, when he woke up with Langa curled against him.

Reki was plenty familiar with getting injured skateboarding. There’s no amount of practice that’ll get you good enough that you completely stop hurting yourself.

The first time Reki actually hurt himself in front of Langa, he was just casually doing an ollie. It was honestly kind of embarrassing—he should’ve had no problem at all pulling it off. Except Langa was _looking_ at him, and the light from the setting sun was hitting Langa’s eyes, and then Langa _smiled._

Maybe Reki could’ve survived each of those things separately, but all at once? Yeah, he totally tripped over his own damn ankle and the board slipped away from him, and he landed on his wrist.

And, of course, Reki was familiar with skating injuries. He knew a sprained wrist when he felt one. _Shit_.

 _Absolutely_ ridiculous that Langa just _standing there,_ and looking all pretty, and smiling at him, could make Reki sprain his wrist.

“Reki!” Langa was already kneeling down next to him, hazardous smile vanished, looking worried. “Reki, are you okay?”

“Totally fine,” Reki said. Which might have been more convincing if he didn’t then immediately hiss in pain as he sat up.

“You’re hurt,” Langa said.

“It’s just a sprained wrist,” Reki replied.

“That doesn’t _sound_ fine,” Langa said.

Shit, he was cute when he was worried. Reki smiled.

“It’s not a big deal,” Reki said. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. I can handle it.”

“Tell me what to do,” Langa said, with such serious determination that Reki almost lost it.

“Nothing,” Reki said, through some slightly strained laughter. “It’ll be fine, dude.”

“You always do something when I get hurt,” Langa argued back.

Langa was going to be the death of Reki, he was sure of it.

“Because you freak out at the sight of blood and never carry any kind of first aid with you,” Reki replied.

Langa frowned. “Well, you always have the bandages.”

Reki laughed again. Really, he liked Langa _way_ too much. It was beyond a problem.

He shifted so he was sitting cross-legged, cradling his hurt wrist in his other hand. “Listen, you don’t have to do anything. I got this. It’s _fine._ It’s just a sprain.”

“It hurts, though,” Langa said, gesturing to the way Reki was holding it.

“Well, yeah. It’s a sprain. That’s kinda how it works. Injuries.”

“I want to help.”

Of course it wasn’t enough that Langa was pretty, and talented, and dedicated. He had to go and be _sweet,_ too. Honestly, it seemed unreasonable. Reki was pretty sure that was unnecessary, and it would probably make it easier on him in general if Langa could just be a worse person.

But, of course, he was amazing. Langa was always amazing.

There was a swell of affection in Reki’s chest, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to kiss someone more. Langa was sitting so close, leaning towards him with stubborn concern and care. Reki was glad his hands were occupied with the sprain, because if they weren’t, he just might do something stupid like mess up Langa’s hair or trace his cheekbone with his fingertips.

“Don’t worry about it,” Reki said.

Langa frowned, seeming unsatisfied with that response. He pulled out his phone and began typing.

Reki sighed. “You don’t have to—”

“This says to put ice on it,” Langa said.

“…I was going to do that.”

“No, you weren’t, you were going to wrap it and then keep skating.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Alright, then let’s go,” Langa said.

Reki blinked. “Go? Go where?”

“To your house? To get ice?” Langa said, like it was obvious. “I mean, if you were going to put ice on it.”

“But we’ve only been skating for, like, half an hour,” Reki said.

Langa just gave him a look.

“Okay, _fine,_ so I wanted to skate longer,” Reki muttered. He held his wrist closer to his chest. “I was gonna ice it when I got home.”

Langa let out a sigh, getting to his feet. “Come on. I’ll carry your board.”

“It’s _fine,_ it can wait,” Reki said, definitely not whining at all.

Langa didn’t say anything, just offering a hand.

Reki stifled a sigh, gingerly letting go of his hurt wrist to let Langa pull him to his feet. He winced, pressing his wrist closer to his chest.

“Yeah, it definitely seems like it’s fine,” Langa said dryly.

“It’s just a sprain. I’m fine.”

“Would you let me keep skating with a sprained wrist?” Langa asked.

Reki shot Langa a glare and didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer, because of course he wouldn’t. If it was Langa who’d hurt his wrist, Reki would be dragging him back home, too.

“That’s what I thought,” Langa said.

Reki rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Dragging his feet just a little, Reki followed Langa as he led the way back to Reki’s house. Reki didn’t know that Langa had the route memorized.

He also wouldn’t let Reki carry his own board, so Reki spent the whole walk with his wrist cradled in his other hand. He tried to make it seem natural, like it really didn’t hurt that much, but by the looks Langa was shooting him, he wasn’t succeeding.

“You just go to your room and sit down, I’ll get the ice,” Langa said when they got to Reki’s place.

“It’s not like I’m _sick,”_ Reki grumbled, a little embarrassed. He knew better than to argue the point, though. Langa would win, and it wasn’t worth bickering over, so he just headed to his room.

Reki sat down on the floor with a heavy sigh, leaning against his bed. He held his wrist out in front of him, examining it. Really, it wasn’t a bad sprain. It ached, and it looked a little swollen, but it wasn’t worth freaking out over.

In truth, he probably would’ve just wrapped it and forgotten about ice entirely if it had been left up to him. He’d had worse.

Langa came in, holding an ice pack wrapped in a towel, as well as some painkillers, bandages, and a plate of cake.

“Your mom was in the kitchen,” Langa said in explanation. He struggled a little to put everything down on the desk before sitting next to Reki with the ice pack.

Sitting _way too close._ Reki felt the urge to lean away.

“Give me your wrist,” Langa said, putting a hand out.

“I can ice it myself,” Reki said.

Langa didn’t say anything. He just kept his hand out until Reki sighed and offered his wrist.

Reki watched Langa’s expression change when his gaze shifted down from Reki’s face—that stubborn hard stare softening into concern. Langa held Reki’s wrist gently, turning it over slightly in his fingers to examine it.

Reki hissed in pain as his wrist twisted slightly and Langa glanced up, quick and apologetic.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Reki said.

“You keep saying that.”

“It keeps being true.”

Langa frowned. He shifted so he was sitting closer, his leg up against Reki’s, and he arranged the ice pack and Reki’s wrist to rest in his lap.

“The fall looked like it hurt,” Langa said.

“Yeah, well.”

“You don’t have to pretend like it _doesn’t_ hurt.”

“What?” Reki glanced at him. “I’m not doing that, come on.”

Langa touched Reki’s wrist with his fingertips, featherlight. He was frowning, staring at the sprain like he could fix it through sheer force of will.

Reki found he was having trouble breathing. Something about Langa’s thumb tracing the bones of his wrist made his chest tighten and his heart flip. He was gone, so _unbelievably_ gone. It just started as a simple crush on the new guy, how did it get to _this?_

Reki wanted to kiss him. And Langa was close enough that he _could,_ he’d barely have to lean over.

He was very careful not to move.

“You do that a lot,” Langa said.

“What?”

“Brush things off. When it’s about you.”

“It’s just a sprained wrist.”

“I don’t like the use of _just_ there.”

Reki laughed, but it came out a little strangled. “I don’t know what to tell you about that.”

Langa’s frowned deepened.

“What about when it’s not fine? Would you tell me?”

Reki started to pull his hand away.

“You’re overreacting,” Reki said.

Langa let his hand go, offering Reki the ice pack so he could keep it against his wrist himself. “Maybe.”

There was something in his voice that gave Reki pause. Like maybe Langa had words he was holding back in the same way Reki was, but he just… _couldn’t_ let himself entertain that possibility.

The idea lingered, though, warm and persistent, something like hope.

They were taking a break, sitting on the concrete and facing the sunset, orange and pink streaks fading into blue. It was just the two of the in the skatepark.

Reki had found himself dwelling on the _moments_ they’d had in the past few weeks, wondering if Langa ever felt it, too. Reki didn’t want to hope for anything.

But he did anyway.

Earlier, Reki had helped Langa up when he’d fallen, and he could’ve _sworn_ that Langa’s hand lingered on his longer than strictly necessary. Maybe it was nothing. It was probably nothing.

But maybe it was something.

He’d been falling for this long anyway.

“Langa, I’ve been thinking,” Reki said slowly. Now or never, right? He’d been pining like an idiot for weeks, and it was going to make him crazy. He _had_ to try. One last time.

Because maybe it _wasn’t_ all Reki.

“Hm?” Langa turned to him.

The next words caught in Reki’s throat. No way could he say anything while making eye contact with Langa. That was entirely too much.

He turned back to watch the horizon, taking a deep, steady breath. He could still see Langa looking at him in his periphery.

“What if we… went out?” Reki said.

“Sure, where?” Langa said. Totally nonchalant.

 _Right_.

“No, I mean, like… Langa. Can I take you to dinner?”

“Is there somewhere new you want to go?”

Reki took another breath.

“I want to _go out with you._ To get dinner. You know? I’ll pay and—and it’ll be…”

Reki was losing his nerve fast, the little bits of courage he’d gathered burning out faster than he could find the right words. He’d really talked himself up before this, desperately trying to be brave, but it was so much harder when Langa was just _there._ Next to him. Being _Langa._

He finally looked over at Langa, tentatively daring to hope Langa _got_ what he was saying. Langa was staring a little, sort of like he was confused.

Well. Maybe that was his answer.

“Okay?” Langa said. “Should we invite Miya?”

Reki wanted to scream, a little bit. The idea of having to spell it out for Langa any more than he had was enough to make Reki want to change his name and flee the country, which was a very normal and completely reasonable way to feel about being in love with your best friend.

It was fine. Reki was _totally fine._

“Langa, I just—you know what—I’m trying to—” Reki let out a short laugh, wishing he could just, like, evaporate on the spot. “No, it’s fine, it’s… Yeah. Yeah, text Miya, see if he wants to come.”

Langa stared at him for a moment longer. Like he could sense that _something_ was off, but he couldn’t figure out what. “Alright,” Langa said, pulling out his phone.

So they just went to the burger place, picking up Miya on the way, like everything was normal. They ordered, got their food, sat down, and everything was _totally fine._

Reki wasn’t even hungry.

Langa went to get a refill of his soda, and Reki watched him go. The girl behind the counter perked up when he got there, and she leaned forward a little as Langa talked.

Reki sighed. At least there was the consolation that Langa almost certainly didn’t know that the girl clearly thought he was cute.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Miya said. “What’s with you?”

“Nothing,” Reki said.

Miya crumpled up a napkin and threw it at him.

Reki flinched. “Hey!”

He picked up the napkin and threw it back but it fell short.

“What’s _with_ you?” Miya repeated, slowly, like he thought Reki was a moron. Which. Fair. Reki couldn’t even argue that; he sure _felt_ like a moron.

Reki rolled his eyes. “This was supposed to be a date,” he muttered, burying his face in his arms.

“What? Gross,” Miya replied, and Reki could _hear_ him recoil. “Then what am I doing here?”

Reki sighed heavily, curling forward more. “Langa doesn’t _know_ I was asking him on a date.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah.”

“Just _tell_ him.”

Reki shot back up, indignant. “What? _No._ I tried—it didn’t even _occur_ to him that’s what I was asking.”

“So what?”

“ _So what?_ So he _definitely_ doesn’t think about me like that. There’ve been, like, so many times that he didn’t get it. I’m not going to try and get it through to him just to be rejected. That’s a waste of effort, it’ll be embarrassing.”

Miya rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

Langa came back, and Miya kept shooting Reki judgmental looks, and Reki tried to act like everything was totally fine and normal.

He wasn’t sure whether it worked, but naturally, Langa didn’t seem to really sense that anything was weird. So. Langa’s obliviousness came in handy sometimes.

Telling Miya was a mistake.

At S, watching Langa skate, and feeling the pathetic tug in his heart, Miya was somehow always standing right next to him. And judging him through it.

“This is stupid,” Miya said.

Reki shot him a half-hearted glare.

Miya didn’t look impressed. “It _is,”_ he insisted.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Reki muttered.

Miya shrugged. “I don’t care. Just do _something_ about it, or get over it.”

“Geez, anyone ever tell you that your bedside manner sucks?”

“Anyone ever tell _you_ it’s annoying when you mope?”

“I’m not moping,” Reki protested.

“Oh? You’re not?” Miya said. “Then what _are_ you doing?”

“I’m… processing.”

“Okay, then your _processing_ is annoying.”

Reki sighed. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Bruised pride. I’ll get over it.”

Miya stared him down for a minute before rolling his eyes.

Miya didn’t bring it up again, but he barely had to. His long, pointed looks whenever he caught Reki watching Langa were enough.

It was almost easier after that, really.

Reki was resigned. Langa didn’t feel the same, and he never would, and it was _fine._ It wasn’t like it wasn’t _enough_ to be friends with Langa. It wasn’t a consolation prize—Langa was amazing. Reki was lucky to have him either way.

And, as much as it felt impossible sometimes, _eventually,_ Reki’s feelings would fade. It would suck on occasion in the meantime, and Reki was sort of dreading the day that Langa met someone he liked, but Reki had crushes before. They came and went and it was _fine._

The main issue was that, with Langa, it wasn’t a simple crush anymore.

The feelings had burrowed in a way that felt alarmingly permanent, and Reki wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do about that. There were moments where Reki felt like this was just going to be his life from now on—being quietly in love with his favorite person, pretending it never hurt.

It was late afternoon, and they were in the back of the shop. Their shifts had ended a while ago, but Reki had gotten too invested in this new board he was making to leave, and Langa had stayed without question or comment. Which Reki was decidedly not reading into.

Reki had stopped explaining what he was doing when he noticed that Langa was starting to doze off on the table.

It took about fifteen minutes before Langa noticed.

“You’re not talking,” Langa mumbled.

It didn’t look particularly comfortable, the way he was leaning over and resting his head on the work table. It couldn’t have been easy to doze, either, with Reki’s tinkering shifting the table periodically.

“You fell asleep,” Reki said.

“No, I’m awake,” Langa said. “Keep… keep telling me about…”

Reki let out a soft laugh. “About what, Langa?”

“Whatever you were telling me about,” Langa finished, yawning.

Reki glanced at Langa, warm affection in his chest. He indulged himself a little, reaching over to mess with Langa’s hair. Langa barely reacted except to shoot Reki a tired, puzzled look.

“If you’re that tired, you can head home,” Reki said.

“No, I’ll wait for you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to wait for you.”

Reki needed Langa to stop saying things like that. It was too easy to latch onto and misinterpret.

“I’m almost done,” Reki said. 

Man, running into Jules had been awkward. And it had probably been _beyond_ an idiotic move to pretend like Langa was his boyfriend. Reki had panicked, and it was the first thing he thought of. Yeah, great idea, Reki: avoid an awkward situation by creating a _completely different_ , probably _worse_ awkward situation.

Reki was just lucky Langa hadn’t been weird about it, really. It could’ve gone worse than it did.

It was just for this one night, just to avoid any of the uncomfortable conversations that might’ve happened otherwise, just to not have to talk about all the calls and messages he’d ignored from his ex. Reki could admit that it probably wasn’t the best way to deal, but it was fine.

He messed around in his garage for a while, trying to distract himself with building a new board. Just a basic one, nothing special, only to occupy his attention so he wouldn’t be obsessing too much about S and Langa and Jules. Reki had probably never wanted to just get S over with so badly before, but he was really just looking forward to being done, heading out of there with Langa and putting this weirdness behind him.

He did sort of wonder how all that must’ve seemed from Langa’s perspective. They’d never talked about their respective dating histories before. Entirely deliberate on Reki’s part, probably just out of disinterest in the topic on Langa’s part. It wasn’t that Reki was trying to hide his own dating history—not that he had all that much to hide to begin with. He’d just been afraid to hear Langa’s.

It was sort of a relief, in a petty, still-clinging-to-some-empty-hope kind of way to know that Langa hadn’t dated before. So he _didn’t_ have some girl back in Canada that he was always eventually going to return to, which was, in fact, the romantic comedy plot that had been haunting Reki as of late.

Not that it mattered. Not that he cared.

He was _very on purpose_ trying to not care about Langa’s dating history, or his dating future. Or his dating present, for that matter.

They were friends. Langa was probably the best friend Reki had ever had. And his feelings weren’t worth ruining that.

Reki had never been a fan of seeing people he knew in _real life_ at S, but it was so much more awkward with classmates. And, of course, his ex. All he had to do was get through this one night, it’d be fine, Reki could manage.

He kept telling himself that, at least.

“So you and Langa, huh?” one of the guys said as Langa and Jules lined up to race, elbowing Reki’s arm.

Reki let out a small, uncomfortable laugh. “Yeah, I don’t know, it just happened.”

“Please, it’s been so obvious.”

“ _Totally_ knew you guys were a thing.”

“Yeah, the way he looks at you—”

“It’s really not—we’re not that—” Reki cleared his throat. “I don’t know if it’ll last.”

He shifted, feeling a pit of guilt in his stomach for dragging Langa into this.

“Come on, don’t be like that, Reki.”

“Man, he’s racing your ex, I totally wouldn’t have guessed Langa is the jealous type.”

Reki frowned. “He’s not. He just likes racing.”

The guy laughed, shoving Reki’s arm playfully. “Sure,” he replied skeptically.

Reki rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and pulling them close.

He really should’ve just come clean. Now either Langa was going to have to deal with people thinking they were dating more so than they already had, or they were going to have to fake break up their fake relationship, and there was no way to _not_ make that weird. Reki had been _trying_ to not make his feelings Langa’s problem, but of _course,_ he had to do something stupid like this.

It was fine. Langa hadn’t been weird about it, all things considered, so Reki could try to _also_ not be weird about it.

It didn’t have to be weird.

People were just now going to think he was dating his best friend, who he’d had feelings for since the beginning, who would never feel the same way about him. Yeah. Totally not weird. This was a completely manageable situation and Reki was decidedly _not_ freaking out about it.

Langa suddenly crashing into a wall, on the other hand, did make him freak out a little bit.

In the hospital waiting room, Langa kept staring at Reki like he’d never seen him before. It was actually kind of concerning.

“Yo. Langa.” Reki frowned, studying Langa’s face. “You hanging in there?”

“Reki…” Langa seemed pretty out of it. He kept reaching out like he wanted to touch Reki’s hair. Which was a little startling—Langa had never been the physically affectionate one of the two of them.

“Do you… need something?” Reki asked.

“Reki, do you know how much I—” Langa cut off, frowning like he was trying to figure something out.

“How much you what?” Reki asked.

Langa kept staring. “Have your eyes always been that color?”

Reki laughed a little. “What, brown?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, man. This whole time.”

“They look different in the sun.”

“Yeah, that happens.”

“You look different in the sun.”

This time, Langa did reach over, just barely stroking a hand over Reki’s hair, studying it intently.

“Okay, Langa,” Reki said, still not sure whether he should be feeling warm affection or actual concern. This Langa just seemed to say whatever he thought, which was _really cute,_ and also somewhat off-putting.

Reki chalked it up to the concussion, and tried not to think about it too much.

The entire world shifted its axis when they were back at Langa’s place, Langa stretched out on his bed and Reki sitting cross-legged on the floor.

“I’m in love with you.”

Everything froze. It took Reki a solid few moments to process that Langa had said anything at all, and the words were just not making sense. Reki wondered if there was some kind of language barrier issue before he even really grasped what Langa had _said._

He understood each word individually. It was all of them at once, coming from _Langa,_ that was the problem.

“I… what?” Reki could hear his own voice wavering.

His eyes connected with Langa’s, and nothing else existed.

“I’m in love with you,” Langa repeated. Stating the words simply, like that wasn’t an _insane_ thing to say.

No way did he mean that. Nope. Not possible.

“How hard did you hit your head?” Reki said, half worried that they should go back to the hospital, because something had to be wrong right? This was incomprehensible. Totally ridiculous.

“The _being in love with you_ thing came before hitting my head,” Langa explained, like _that_ was going to make it make sense.

Maybe Reki was the one who hit his head. Maybe _he_ was the one who’d gotten a concussion. Could concussions give you hallucinations? Reki had a moment where he genuinely considered stopping to look it up on his phone.

He was having a very difficult time understanding what was happening.

“Langa,” Reki said. The name suddenly different in his mouth. “What are you talking about?”

Langa looked up at the ceiling, frowning. “I honestly don’t know how else to say it. I thought that was pretty clear.”

He just… _said_ it. Reki could hear his own heartbeat.

How could this possibly be real?

He studied Langa’s face, tracing down the lines of his profile, looking at the scrapes and bruises across his cheekbone and forehead.

He looked… like he meant it.

Reki swallowed. “You’re really serious.”

“Well… yeah,” Langa said, like it was that simple.

Like it was that easy.

Like Reki hadn’t just spent _months_ biting his tongue, in emotional distress, stopping himself from crossing a line.

Like Reki hadn’t been having those words, _I’m in love with you,_ playing on loop in his head whenever he saw Langa smile.

Giddiness faded into a soft, warm glow, and eventually, Reki let himself fall to the floor, stretching his legs out and staring up at the ceiling. It still didn’t feel real, but nothing felt real—Reki felt like he was floating, untethered. He was just… letting himself be _happy_ about it.

Lying on the floor could feel like floating on a cloud. Staring at the ceiling could feel like stargazing.

And Langa’s hand reaching down from the bed, entwining their fingers together, didn’t have to feel like anything other than what it was.

“You don’t have to stay on the floor,” Langa murmured, like he was finally starting to drift off.

“You’re injured,” Reki replied.

“There’s room, it’s fine.”

And maybe it really was fine.

Reki didn’t really want to argue, so he didn’t. He just climbed up onto the bed, carefully, lying down next to Langa, their hands still connected.

Reki let out a breath, smiling a little. He hadn’t really stopped smiling.

“Reki?” Langa said, his voice soft and thoughtful.

Reki turn to look at him. Langa was staring at nothing, a slightly puzzled look on his face like he’d been considering something deeply.

And Reki was _gone,_ because that alone had him thinking about how much he loved this guy.

“Something on your mind?” Reki asked, rubbing his thumb gently against Langa’s hand.

“If you’ve liked me this whole time,” Langa said slowly. “How did I not notice?”

There was a still, quiet moment, where Reki felt like he could fit an entire montage of how freaking obvious he had been for _weeks._

And Reki just _lost it._

“Man, are you kidding? That’s what _I_ wanna know,” Reki managed to say through his laughter.

Langa shot Reki a half-hearted glare, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Reki grinned, turning on his side, careful not to press too much against Langa. He leaned over, kissing an uninjured spot on Langa’s cheek. He reached up a hand to stroke Langa’s hair back. He thought about all the times he’d wanted to do things like this, say things like—

“It doesn’t matter, right? I love you. You know now.”

Langa’s face softened into a small, warm smile, and Reki could’ve melted.

“Yeah,” Langa said. He shifted up to press his lips to Reki’s.

Reki smiled into the kiss, thinking about how happy he was to have seen Langa fall off his skateboard that first day.

Reki was happy to keep falling himself, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: this fic is saved as "flirting with you is like herding cats" on my computer. Thanks for reading!


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